Dating isn’t easy, and sometimes it can be downright difficult to figure out if what you’re doing is working or not. Biology and emotional states can further complicate things, making it nearly impossible to see that the person you’re seeing is really not the person you’ve been looking for at all. But it helps to know what you’re looking for, so that way you know whether or not you should keep going. For instance, some solid, dependable signs are:
Money and Spending
When people talk about divorce, one of the primary things that comes up is money. Being broke takes its toll on people when they’re single, and in a relationship that strain can be a huge issue. However, you don’t have to be facing debt in order for money to be a major problem. For instance, all of the following can turn into problems, financially:
- One partner makes significantly more money than the other. This may lead to resentment.
- Spending habits differ. If one partner likes to buy things, and the other likes to save, that’s a fight or twelve just waiting to happen.
- Partners have different goals when it comes to where they want to be, financially speaking.
These examples are just a handful of ways that finances can sink a relationship. So, keeping money in mind can be important when it comes time to decide whether or not to get serious with someone.
They Just Don’t Get You
This can be a real problem that lots of people ignore at their own risk. The old addage that opposites attract doesn’t apply when people are polar opposites; there has to be enough common ground that you can communicate and get along. For instance, if you are an avid Doctor Who fan, and your date thinks that science fiction is something for kids, there might be a problem brewing. The same goes if your potential significant other loves the great outdoors, and you just can’t stand that much fresh air at once.
Sometimes these differences can be glossed over, but other times they can’t. If you have something that’s very important to you that you want to share with your significant other, but that he or she just doesn’t get, or worse actively doesn’t like, that is a sure sign that you may be facing problems further down the line. Couples that play together, stay together.
Politics and Lifestyle
A person’s politics defines what they think is important, and if someone disagrees with them then that simply means that person has different values. But having values and opinions that are too different can be a warning sign that there is trouble ahead.
As a quick for instance, say that you feel women’s health care and contraception rights are important, and they should be addressed in order to give them equal standing. However, if your partner believes that Planned Parenthood should be defunded and that all women’s decisions in that regard require permission from her husband, then you two are not going to get on for any real length of time. It’s an extreme example, but it shows how the things you find important can drive you apart from someone when they just don’t agree with your at a primal level.
Lifestyle works the same way. If you’re the sort of person that likes to make things at home and hang out in jeans and a tee shirt, but the person you’re dating prefers to be taken care of and to buy everything he or she needs, then your lifestyles simply aren’t going to match up. Now, it is possible for someone to wiggle in one direction or another, but if neither of you are willing to compromise on how you live your lives, then that can lead to friction and to problems.
Is The Other Person Really Ready?
This is a big deal, and it’s one that often gets overlooked. There could be any of a hundred reasons that someone else really isn’t ready to commit to a relationship. As a quick for instance that person could have:
- Trust issues.
- Previous demands on their time in the form of work, school, family or other things.
- Misgivings and reservations about being involved in a relationship right then.
If you’re not ready for a relationship then there’s nothing that will help you get ready except time and understanding. Sometimes that’s all someone needs. Someone that just came through a messy divorce, or who has just gotten out on their own again might want to get their house in order, so to speak, before going anywhere serious with someone new. However, sometimes people remain devoted to others, and that can be a problem for those that want to be a priority in a new relationship. Whether the person you’re dating has kids or older parents, is too close with an ex or will drop everything for a childhood friend, that could spell disaster for your place in the pecking order.